Each month, our BeWellATL clinicians address a question related to adolescent and teen mental health, submitted by someone in the community. Here’s this month's question:

Dear Experts,

My middle schooler has ADHD and struggles with executive function. I want to help him manage his homework and responsibilities, but I also want him to become more independent. Any tips?

– ADHD Mom

This months answer:

Dear ADHD Mom,

First, know that you're not alone—many neurodivergent and neurotypical kids (and adults!) find executive function challenging. Life is full of distractions and competing priorities, and building these skills is a process. Here’s a simple three-step approach to help guide your son toward greater independence:

1. Start with a question: “What’s your plan?”

As parents, it’s natural to want to step in and offer solutions. But by asking your child what their plan is, you empower them. You’re signaling that you trust their ability to come up with a strategy—and you're helping them build the habit of thinking ahead. They might not come up with the most effective plan right away, and that’s okay. The goal is to start the dialogue and support them as they learn to problem-solve.

2. Encourage experimentation

When kids are younger, we often tell them exactly what to do. As they get older, it’s more effective to invite them to experiment with different approaches. This helps them discover what works for them and learn from the results. It can be tough for parents to step back—especially when we know what we would do—but your child might thrive under different conditions. For example, you might need a quiet space to focus, while your child may concentrate better with music or white noise. Letting them try things out (and sometimes fail) builds stronger executive function over time.

3. Ask guiding questions

We know not all kids love being peppered with questions, so timing is important. But when done thoughtfully, asking questions can be a powerful tool. It encourages kids to think for themselves and take ownership of their responsibilities—something middle and high schoolers especially crave as they seek more independence.

Consider this example:

Your son comes home with a project due next week. You might be tempted to say, “Let me look at the instructions. It says you need poster board—I’ll grab some tomorrow.” That’s helpful, but it doesn’t foster independence. Instead, try:

“Why don’t you read the directions to me? Are there any materials you’ll need that we don’t have at home?”

Now, your child is practicing skills like planning, organizing, and thinking ahead.

For younger children, you can take a similar approach. Instead of saying, “Put on your shoes and brush your teeth,” try asking, “What do you still need to do to be ready?” This helps them begin to monitor and manage their own tasks.

There’s no quick fix for executive function challenges, but with consistency and patience, you’ll start to see growth. And remember—you’re doing great just by asking these questions and supporting your child on their journey. If you need more support, we have best-in-class services available:

Psychoeducational Testing with Dr. Lori Wilson

Executive Functioning Coaching with Marlena Reese, Ed.D.

Medical Services for ADHD including medication management with Dr. Howard Schub

To make an appointment, contact us at therapy@jfcsatl.org or 770.677.9474

Signed,

The Expert Clinicians of BeWellATL

Do you have a question? Submit to marketing@jfcsatl.org with the subject line “Ask the Experts”

Disclaimer: The information provided in this column is for general informational purposes only and is not intended as professional or mental health advice. If you are seeking mental health support or have concerns, please consult a qualified professional. The opinions expressed are those of the author and do not substitute for personalized guidance tailored to your specific situation.