By Rabbi Michael Bram, DMin, BCC, Lt Col, USAF (Ret.), JF&CS Community Chaplain

The High Holy Days invite us to reflect on where we’ve fallen short, but what if our struggles and failures are actually opportunities for growth? Rabbi Bram explores how repentance can help us turn difficult experiences into catalysts for positive change.

The Rosh Hashanah and Yom Kippur season is built around a deceptively simple idea: look back at the past year, make amends with God and with the people we’ve hurt, and resolve to do better.

Sounds simple, right?

And yet many of us find ourselves in the same place year after year. Taking stock of the same successes and failures, making the same amends with God and people, and resolving to make the next year better just like we did last year.

When We Feel Stuck

But what if the past year didn’t go the way we hoped? What if we feel like we haven’t had the spiritual or material success we hoped for this year? What if we didn’t improve in the way we wanted? What if we found ourselves in difficult circumstances, or in the midst of tragedy?

How do we grow when we feel stuck where we are?

There’s a curious statement in the Talmud (Yevamos 86b) that can shed light on this question. “Reish Lakish says: ‘Great is repentance, because it turns transgressions into merits.’”

We may understand that repentance, more accurately translated as “return,” can secure forgiveness for our transgressions, but how can the simple act of making amends and doing better turn my transgressions into merits? How can it turn my negative actions into positive ones?

In the movie Batman Begins, Thomas Wayne asks a young Bruce Wayne (the future Batman) who has just fallen down a well, “Why do we fall, Bruce? So we can learn to pick ourselves up.” (How often do Rabbis get to quote the Talmud and then Batman?)

That’s the meaning of the Talmud’s statement. Each and every one of us fails, transgresses, and falls at some point. That’s not a spiritual failing, that’s human nature.

But we have a choice about how to react to our failures and struggles.

We can become dejected and demoralized, which will only lead to more struggles and failures, thus perpetuating the cycle.

Or, we can use our failures as a springboard to future success. We can learn from our struggles and transgressions and the negative feelings they inevitably produce in us and use them as a springboard to future growth and positive change.

Turning Failure Into Growth

When we fail or fall short of our goals, or when external struggles affect us, we can take stock of what precipitated our failure, whether it’s our fault or not, and see what we can do to change our circumstances and hopefully elicit better outcomes in the future.

If we can do that, if we can use our “transgressions” as a learning experience and a catalyst to make ourselves better people and make the world around us a better place, then we can turn those transgressions into merits and make the next year better than the one before it.

Wishing everyone a happy, sweet, and meaningful new year.

Rabbi Bram